


Repetitive Absence

by AO3uzer45



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Death, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, this is going to be intense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AO3uzer45/pseuds/AO3uzer45
Summary: Keith can't make it in time. Keith never realized how he felt before it was too late. Keith tried to save him but when the day was over he just....he failed. But what happens when he is given a second chance? What happens when he wakes up and it's like that stupid movie that Shiro made him watch as a kid. He realizes that he is going to, so call, 'Groundhog day' this day. Will he be able to change what happens? Will he be able to save the one man that he cares for? Will he be able to confess? Or will he fail every day?. Will he Break?





	1. Chapter 1

Voltron had been formed. Voltron had been destroyed. The legendary defenders were no more. The future was bleak and the name of 'Voltron' as nothing more than a legend. Keith was the sole survivor. Everyone else had been killed off and fed to the dogs (either literally or figuratively). He was so miserable. Keith knew what it felt like to be alone, he knew what it felt like to desire nothing more than to be in the comfort of someone, so why is it that--out of all the people he could've picked-- he wanted to be held by Lance?

"Keith?!?! Keith, do you copy?!" Shiro's voice called over the helmet in a panic

"SHIRO?!?!" Keith exclaimed into the helmet, "I saw you blow up, though!!"

"No we are fine, Hunk, Pidge and I... we are all together right now. The explosion just separated us but the Green lion has seen better days. But what about you?" Shiro questioned, "are you and Lance okay?"

Keith looked over to the Blue lion. The head impaled by a thick piece of shrapnel from the explosion. Keith took a little too long for Shiro's comfort.

"Keith?" He questioned again

"I'm sorry...." Keith said more to Lance than to anyone. He tried to hold back the feeling in his stomach of regret. It echoed throughout his whole body resonating. He remembered Lance's last words and repeated them in his headset " _This can't be where it ends....._ "

"No...." Hunk gasped

The three flew over to Keith and Lance, none of them needed to see what was left of the Blue lion. None of them needed to know that the Blue lion would be fine with a few new pieces of metal and a while to rest, none of them needed to see blood coating the outside of the shrapnel...... none of them wanted to face the fact that Lance was dead. None of them got out of their lions as they wept. They waited for Allura and Coran but didn't have the courage through the sobbing and tears to tell them why they needed an extraction ASAP. Keith felt his heart twist and turn, shrivel and grip itself with the depression and the seldom fact that they were down one of the best. Keith didn't want to think about life without Lance, he didn't want to think about waking up and eating at a six person table instead of a seven. He didn't want to lose anyone else after his parents. Keith couldn't stand it. But he never once crossed his mind about arguing with Lance, he didn't want to remember that right now. All he could think about was Lance's smile, the way he laughed and the way he talked. The few times Lance would swear in Spanish, or so Keith assumed, and it made Keith happy to know the Lance did everything in his power to hold onto his heritage, unlike Keith....who knew close to nothing about himself.

Allura and Coran showed up in the Castle of Lions and waited for them to enter in. Shiro used the Black Lion to pick up the Blue lion and take her inside of the castle. The team was quiet as Allura asked why Lance wasn't flying his lion.

They all landed, setting the Blue lion down gently. The four walked over to Blue and tried to force her jaw open so that they could pull Lance out so that they could see the damage done and see if there could be a way to save Lance. It took two agonizing hours of raw manpower to get her jaw open just enough for Pidge to enter in. Pidge rummaged around, trying to get into the cockpit of the lion to see and assess Lance's condition, but with him not calling out for any of them....they didn't have any hope. Instead of trying to make her way alone Pidge apologized to the Blue lion as she cut one of the wires in her jaw, making it slack and open all the way. Pidge motioned for the other three to follow (though Allura and Coran were there they decided that seven inside was a little too much). They all entered inside of the Blue lion.

Gasps were all around.

Right through the forehead of the Blue lion was a thick piece of shrapnel that came to a point at the end, a jagged point nonetheless. The shard of Galra metal pierced through the pilot seat and in turn, the pilot who sat in the seat. Keith slowly walked around as if waiting for Lance to say something, as if waiting for Lance to get up.....but Lance.....Lance lay jolted forward with an unsettling calm expression glistening his face. Blood and puke swirling around his mouth, shimmering across the shrapnel and painting the front of Lance's body. Keith walked a little closer, his knees shaking in an attempt to calm himself down so that he wouldn't break any more than his already shattered heart was. In the corner of Lance's eyes sparkled tears, that had not dried up, that had not vanished.

Keith ripped off his glove on his hand and placed his rare bare hand on Lance's blood stained face. Keith looked into Lance's cold, lifeless eyes. His heart broke.

"We...." Keith's voice cracked as he backed away "We're too late...."

Shiro and Hunk shook at the news, Pidge felt overwhelmed and, therefore, left in a sobbing fit. Hunk took small steps towards Lance, knowing that Keith (of all people) wouldn't joke about something like this. Lance wasn't at the normal temperature of warm but he wasn't terribly cold either. He had died about the same time they landed on to the ship. There was no way to save him.

In logical standpoints, there was no time to mourn.....not right now. Shiro, Keith, and Hunk removed the shrapnel from the Blue lions head. They all tried not to pass out at the noises that emitted from Lance's corpse as they took the sharp object out of Lance's torso. It almost sounded as though they were the ones killing him. Hunk supported his friend's limp corpse and lifted it gently out of the seat in which it sought to protect with a death grip. Hunk brought Lance out to Allura and set him down on the awaiting medical bed, which would be more like a gurney to a morgue at this point.

“LANCE!!” Allura screamed, her accent making her panicked echo more painful. Pidge tried not to turn around to see, but the nature of human curiosity forced her to regret her decision to turn around and gaze on Lance. Allura couldn't move, her hands convulsing as they covered her mouth; Shiro was stuck in a state of anger and depression; Hunk felt like nothing could fill the void that Lance did; Coran wept in a controlled manner so that he wouldn't stop anyone from making any last words; and Keith.....Keith stood the closest to Lance, his bare hand shivered at the feeling of Lance's blood solidifying on his hand and caking itself into place as if to remind him that there was no way to save Lance. Everyone looked at the lifeless body of Lance and knew that he was not going to move again.

"Is there a way to project his memories into the ship?" Hunk asked in a final wonder of desperation

"No....the castle can't read an inactive mind...." Coran spoke solemnly through the sniffles and whimpers.

The team could do nothing for Lance now. There was no reason to try to save him, there was no reason to put him into the cryopods.... there was no way that Lance was going to come back to them. There was just no way for him to talk, laugh, sing, dance, make a fool of himself, or even prove to the team that he was an asset.....he couldn't do that ever again.

Lance was finally silent. Everyone wished that their final words to Lance weren't 'Shut up', 'Pessimist', 'Don't think like that!', 'Idiot'. They didn't want him to be quiet, they didn't want him to be silent, they didn't want him to be dead.

Keith angrily grunted as he fell to his knees and hit the castle floor. He let out a yell, a yell that relieved him of a small amount of his pain. Shiro placed his organic hand onto Keith's shoulder and was about to try to console him and make him feel like this wasn't his fault, but if anyone knew how Keith felt--how Keith reacted--it was Shiro. So Shiro only extended his hand and placed it upon Keith's shoulder without so much as a word.

Keith stood and stormed out, looking back to Lance one more time before realizing why it was bothering him this much. The emotions he had for Lance weren't of the brotherly type, they weren't frustrated agonizing emotions when you lose a good teammate, the feelings he harbored weren't like that at all..... he hated to admit it, but for some reason, he felt what Shiro taught him was labeled as 'Love'.

A love that could never be now, because the only man that could reciprocate those feelings was dead. Displayed out for all to see as if he were a prize pig at a farm show. Keith felt his heart's shattered pieces lodge themselves into the cavity walls of his soul. He had no more hope, he had no more desire, he had no more.....no more anything. Keith decided to just go back to his room and sleep until he died. He stormed out, he ran to his room in a hoping-not-to-have-a-melt-down fit. He pressed the button to open his door a dozen times before it actually opened, and after he was in he had to wait for the door to close leisurely (boy did he wish he could slam it). With the door closed and audibly locked, that's when Keith let his heart out. The insulated walls allowed his cries and screams of agony to only ring in his ears and keep them from the ears of the others. He was given the ability to cry and weep and sob all by himself.

Keith fell asleep at his entrance. He fell asleep feeling drunk with depression and anxiety.

 

 

Keith awoke, his eyes feeling refreshed and his body not aching at all. His head lay on his pillow and his brows furrowed together. He should be sore, he should be in pain, his eyes should feel heavy and his heart should feel pain. His heart felt the normal amount of pain, but no the dislocating disarray it felt last night. Keith slowly got up, a deja vu feeling overwhelming him as he tied his shoes.

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss." Keith was not lost for words. That is exactly what Allura had said yesterday morning before she started the dangerous mission that lead to Lance's death. Keith slowly got out of bed and got his armor on, knowing that if it was the same drill as yesterday then he'd need it. He slowly walked toward to control room, but not before seeing Hunk talking to....to....to Lance?!

"Lance?!?!" Keith yelled confused and really loud

"Keith it's so early in the morning, you don't have to yell...." Lance replied digging imaginary earwax out of his ears

"But--"Keith ran to Lance "But I saw you die!" Keith gasped as he stopped himself from hugging Lance

"That's called a nightmare, Keith." Hunk lightly joked

"Aww, I'm so touched that you dreamt about me~," Lance poked fun of

"No, I'm serious!" Keith protested

"What's going on?" Shiro popped out of his room, the door in which the three were arguing in front of

"Shiro!" Keith said in an elated tone "What happened yesterday?! After I left? Did you guys put Lance in a healing pod? Did he survive?!"

Shiro glanced over to Lance and Hunk who shrugged their shoulders in sync

"Keith, you must be exhausted." Shiro placed his hand upon Keith's shoulder "Yesterday we nonstop trained for hours on end, you must've just had a dream."

"No, Shiro!" Keith pushed Shiro's hand off of his shoulder "I know what I saw!"

"Dream's can be realistic sometimes." Shiro said in an unsure tone "Just be happy that it was only a dream, I guess." Shiro shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to do for Keith.

"I guess....." Keith said under his breath.

But he had a gut feeling that it was not just a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my newest book idea. I will be updating every Friday for this book, I hope you all enjoy and if you need to contact me please do so on Tumblr @enhance-ao3. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Keith thought long and hard as they walked to Allura and Coran. Keith wanted Lance to be alive, it's not like he wished him dead or anything, but also Keith knew what he saw last night. He knew that there was no way Lance could be alive or at least no way that he could've healed from that wound in one night. The noises around him ceased as he fought with himself internally. He scanned Lance marking every part of his body in his head. Lance's hair, still shaped in that sassy bad boy style with the tufts of hair at the top of his head, just like yesterday (due to Hunk dragging him out of the bathroom without being fully ready). Keith made note of how Lance's body showed no sign of pain, other than a soreness from the training that they did. Keith stared at the corners of Lance's sea blue eyes and took a mental note that there was no sign of creasing, and though he seemed tired, there was no sign of deep bags under his eyes. As Keith moved his eyes down to Lance's glowing lips Lance let out a hearty laugh that snapped Keith's ears into gear, them now hearing his harmonious gusto-filled laugh. Listening to the laugh alone made Keith want to cry. The joy and merriment in the laugh made Keith feel like doubling over and regurgitating the meal that he had yet to consume.

"Keith, are you alright? You don't look so good...." Shiro asked Keith in his 'older brother' tone.

"No...I should be fine, though...." Keith said swallowing down the thought of throwing up, he didn't need the idea of Lance's soulless eyes in his head. 

The door in front of them opened and inside sat Pidge criss-cross on the ground in front of Allura and Coran. Pidge seemed to be having a hard time with some things lately, her moods swaying and her voice more course....but it's been happening off and on and it only lasts for a week.

"Why are Shiro and Keith the only ones in their uniforms? You all should know by now that you need to be prepared at all times!" Allura said angrily as if she had caught Pidge's virus (Keith was then sidetracked with the thought of the possibility of an Altean catching a potential Earth virus).

Keith snapped back into reality with a slight nudge from Shiro and a look of 'we are talking about this later'. Keith looked at Allura, her lips moving but his mind so occupied that the only thing coming into his ears were whispers of the wind.

"Lance and Keith, I want you two to focus on the left flank while Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk focus on the right flank." Keith stared wide-eyed at Allura, her words a copy and paste of yesterday.

"Do you really want Lance to almost die again?" He said out loud, though he wished once the words rolled off his tongue that he kept himself.

"What do you mean by that?" Lance snapped back as if offended

"You almost died yesterday--!" Shiro stopped Keith with a strong clearing of his throat

"I think Keith is just concerned that this plan might be a bit too forward. We are trying to attack a secondary base of Zarkon's."

"NO, _Shiro_!" Keith spat back "Why does everyone look at me like I've grown ears on my head when I mention that Lance almost died! Is everyone going to ignore that?!" Keith was exasperated, his arms trying to stay at his side but he failed as his arms waved and accentuated his flabbergasted emotion.

"Keith...?" Pidge questioned as she looked to him

"Yesterday was just a normal day of training." Hunk added, "The worst that happened was the Green Lion's sensors were damaged a bit, but Pidge and I fixed that."

"No that's impossible!" Keith exclaimed, knowing that they were talking about two days ago.

"Keith, let it go." Lance said crossing his arms, "You just had a dream, you don't need to embarrass yourself by trying to make us all think--"

"I wasn't a dream Lance! I saw--"

"Stop it," Shiro said placing his body in between the two that had, at some point, gotten so close to each other that their foreheads were almost touching. Keith let out a disgruntled breath as he gave Shiro a look and turned his back to him.

Keith felt like he didn't even belong right now. No one understood the pain. No one thought that he was telling the truth. They all thought he had a dream last night. **Lance** was even rude to **him**! Like Lance is hardly rude to him, but apparently, he crossed a line thinking he were dead....

It was true that Lance had a family back on Earth, unlike Keith, but being Defenders of the Universe they were bound to not live forever and Lance had to come to terms that one day he wouldn't be able to see his family. Keith came to terms with that before he was even in the Garrison.

"You five are going to leave soon, if you need anything we will be here as back up."

"Okay," Shiro said, "We'll head to our Lions then." And with a nod from Allura the five were off, Shiro taking Keith's bicep and dragging him towards their Lions.

"Shiro, let go!" Keith complained. Shiro looked pissed and hurt "Shiro!" Keith yelled trying to get Shiro to come to his senses.

"What was that?" Shiro asked once they got far enough away from the others

"What was what?" Keith asked back, ripping his arm out of Shiro's grasp when Shiro left an opening

"Back at the meeting with Lance being dead? Was that dream that intense that you thought it actually happened? Keith, I'm worried about you."

"Shiro, this mission is just like yesterdays. It wasn't a dream, I'm literally living the same day over again!"

"What?" Shiro furrowed his brows as he thought for a second "Like that movie, we watched when we were kids?"

"YA!!" Keith said a little excitedly as Shiro brought up _Groundhog Day_. "It's just like that! Allura and you guys have said the same things as yesterday, and the mission to the Galra armada happened. Lance is going to die if we go through with it!"

"Keith, we both know the unlikelihood of that movie happening in real life.....I don't think that--"

"Shiro, I wouldn't make something like this up! Please!"

"Keith we can't just _not_ go. We have to do this mission. We will be saving lives."

"Within ten minutes of us fighting it's going to go down hill. They are going to have backups. They've been expecting us. We are going to get so overwhelmed. Then Pidge is going to say 'I'm going to try to get inside', she's going to trigger something and the whole thing explodes. Shrapnel will fly everywhere and Lance's Lion will be pierced through the head. Lance will be in agonizing pain for an hour waiting for Allura and Coran to come extract us and then he. will. die." Keith spoke in a fast pace as he let out everything to Shiro. "We can't save him. We can't do this mission. We need Lance."

"Keith--"

"Paladin's, are you ready?" Allura called through their headsets

"Keith and I are just getting into our lions now...." Shiro said back

"Shiro!!"

"Keith, we can't let the others go alone. They might need to form Voltron."

"No! We can't form Voltron!"

"Keith, have more faith in us."

"I have too much faith in you already, Shiro! I don't want to see Lance die again!"

"Don't worry Keith, we won't let that happen." Shiro smiled.

Keith didn't want to listen, he wanted to throw his helmet down and walk back to his room. He knew that this was a copy of yesterday and the last thing his heart wanted was to see Lance die again. But Keith needed to be there, in the case they wanted to form Voltron--even though he knew that they couldn't yesterday for a reason still not known to him.

Keith quietly nodded and walked towards his Lion. She sat there, her energy emitted felt as if he were back in the desert. He entered into her and sat in the pilot seat. As she awoke--more or less-- his body felt as though he were engulfed in a warm never ending hug, a hug of a caretaker, of a brother or sister, of a parent. The red Lion was stubborn and needed a Paladin that was stubborn too, but she also knew what it meant to be hurt. She knew what it meant for her heart to break.....she had been with the Galra for god knows how long.

"Thanks, Red...." Keith said in a low voice as he followed Shiro out of the castle. The two, suspended in space, met up with Pidge who was already out and then Hunk and Lance who followed not shortly after. There was some friendly banter thrown between the lions and then Allura opened a portal for them all to go through so that they could catch the Galra off their feet. Shiro lead the charge in. Keith was the last one to enter.

Keith knew that this meant death for Lance, that Lance wasn't coming back to the castle alive. Keith knew that he'd feel his heart ripped up again. He knew the moment that the second wave came out and Shiro yelled at him.

"Keith, how did you know?!" Shiro screamed

Each of the lions was separated by a sphere of drones surrounding them. Shooting and making it close to impossible for survival.

"I already told you, Shiro!" Keith spat back, pissed that Shiro had to see a prophecy of sorts come true in order to believe him. The Lions were somehow holding up as they were chased and beaten up by these drones. Keith knew any minute now all hell would break loose and he tried his best to stay as close to Lance as possible.

"I'm going to try to get inside, see if that helps anything," Pidge said

"NO!" Keith screamed, "We don't need to get inside. That's not going to help anything."Keith began to feel like he was sweating a lot as if the anticipation of Lance's death was killing him slowly.

"I should at least try!" Pidge said, "You don't know that it won't help."

"Just trust me, okay?" Keith said

"Trust you?" Lance's voice chimed in "You've been talking nonsense the moment you woke up!"

"Do you want to die?!" Keith screamed

"Of course not!" Lance yelled back

"I don't like it when you guys fight...." Hunk's voice said in a whisper.

"Listen up," Shiro butted in "We can win this. I know that all the drones are overwhelming, but if we form Voltron then we can beat them and the main fleet."

"How do you suppose we form Voltron, fend off the drones while we are forming, and then knock them all of us the second we are done?" Keith asked, "With all these drones we are going to be vulnerable, Voltron isn't possible.....like I told you!"

Just as Keith said that, a shining light blinded them all. The horizon a blur as the light made a complete white-out of the scenery. Keith's heart pounded as he heard Lance's voice in the microphone,

"Damn.....is this where it ends?"

Keith began to cry as the others responded

"Don't be a pessimist!" Pidge shouted

"We'll be okay!" Hunk tried to comfort

"Don't go there, Lance!" Shiro added

Keith convulsed as he watched the ship in front of them all implode and then slowly as if wanting to torture him, explode. The white that was prominent all over the sky was now washed away with a fiery yellow and red, accented with gray shrapnel that spread across like shotgun spray. Keith couldn't move as he saw the shape of damnation hurdle towards the Blue lion, and apparently, Lance could do nothing either. At least Keith thought he could do nothing until Lance said his actual last words, new ones that were not from yesterday.

"I'm sorry....Keith...."

Then static came over the radio.

"LANCE!!" Keith called in sobs, his Lion's comfort gone as they both watched the impact of the shrapnel pierce through the Blue lion. Blood spew out from the edges. The Blue lion's eyes fell dim as she swirled after the impact of the shard. She hit herself against a rock at stopped for a second. Keith's hands convulsed as he rushed the Red lion over to Lance as he continued to call "Lance! Lance?! Lance this isn't a joke!" Keith screamed, but the only noise back was the small crumbling of static.

"Keith?!?! Keith, do you copy?!"

"SHIRO!" Keith yelled in a damning angry voice

"I'm so sorry...." 

"Shiro....he's dead...." Keith whimpered into the headset. There was silence on the other end as if Shiro didn't have a retort for that. "Shiro, I told you--" 

"I know Keith, okay? But...." Shiro let out a sigh and then contacted Allura, his voice scratchy and trying to hold back tears in front of Allura. His blubbering making it almost impossible for Allura to understand, but she got the gist of it.

"When do you need it?" 

"Now...." Shiro said in a slight demanding tone

"We'll be there as soon as we can be." Shiro hung up with her and then maneuvered the Black lion over to Keith, who had fallen silent except the constant sniffling heard from his end. 

Shiro didn't know what to say to Keith, he realized that he should've listened to Keith, that Keith was right and he was in the wrong. But how could Keith know that this was the outcome? Shiro knew it was irrational for  _Groundhog Day_ to be a hypothesis, so what else could there be? Could Keith be an inside man for the Galra? Could Keith have planned this? No, he was too worried for Lance's sake. Plus he warned them, he told them that Lance would die.....so then....how?

As Shiro got thinking Allura and Coran arrived and they escorted the Blue lion onto the ship. Allura questioned why Lance wasn't piloting the Blue lion, but none answered. When they landed Keith ran over the Blue lion before anyone else. He knew that Lance was still alive by just a thread. Keith didn't wait for the others. He walked over the Blue lions jaw and slammed his bayard Sword into it, making the mouth slam open and Shiro yell in protest. 

"KEITH?!" 

"He's still alive! I have to save him!" Keith ran into the ship.

A new smell attacking his nose, one that was not there yesterday. He ran to Lance's side, who's body sat upright as if he were still alive. Keith placed his ear in front of Lance's mouth. Keith counted to ten, then a small gasp was heard. 

"LANCE!!" Keith saw a small sliver of happiness. Maybe this was the reason for the redo in his life. Maybe this was the reason mother nature gave him another chance. He was to save Lance! "Lance, I'm going to save you!" Keith called in a hurry as he activated his bayard again. 

"Keith!" Shiro stopped him "What are you planning to do with that?!" Shiro's hand gripped tightly to Keith's wrist stopping him from cutting the shrapnel to a smaller piece and freeing Lance so that they could take him to the cryopods. 

"I'm going to save him! I have to cut the shrapnel and then we have to get him to the cryopod!" Keith called out in a rush "Let me go!" Keith put his other hand on Shiro's chest as he tried to pull away "I have to save him! It's why I got a redo to my day! Lance can't die!" Keith said angrily, finally getting his hand back. Keith then looked at Lance. Lance was in the same position as yesterday when he found him. He was leaning on the shard (as if his body just gave out), blood and puke swirling around his mouth as well as glistening everywhere. Keith's hands began to shake as he made eye contact with Lance. Lance was gone. Not even a minute ago. Lance had died while Keith and Shiro were fighting. He could've made it. Lance could've survived. Keith let out a tear as he then looked at Shiro with a death look and kicked him to the ground "YOU MORON!" he screamed at the top of his lungs as his face began to distort due to his depressive state as tears streamed down his face. Shiro looked up to Keith in a slight fear in the snarl in his voice "If you didn't stop me Lance could be alive right now!" 

"It wasn't me who got him killed!" Shiro defended himself

"Well, it sure as hell wasn't me, Shiro!! But you stopped me from saving him. WHY?!" Keith questioned "WHY, Shiro?! We've known each other since we were kids, you know me so well! So why did you stop me? What could you possibly think I was planning?!?" Keith waited, but before he could continue Hunk walked into the head because of all the commotion. Keith let out a scream at the top of his lungs, a hearty scream, as he fell to his knees in weeping sincerity. Keith hit his fist as hard as he could against the floor of the Blue lion. His pain had only doubled after he did so.

"Keith--"

"I don't want to talk to you....." Keith interrupted Shiro and stood up. Keith left in a mess of emotions as he sprinted to his bedroom. This feeling of deja vu made him consider he were about to pass out. Keith pressed the button for his room to open once, and when entered he waited for it to close. With tears still staining his eyes and his hands, covered in sweat and tear stains, shaking as he jumped into his bed, still wearing his paladin armor. 

He sobbed until he fell asleep. 

 

 

Yet when he awoke the next day he was in his clothing.....just like the day before and the day before that. 

Keith wanted to cry as he looked up to the ceiling of his room. He closed his eyes as a voice came on over the intercom system,

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said last week: this book will update every Friday. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! If you need me for anything contact me via Tumblr @enhance-ao3. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

As the voice awoke him yet again Keith struggled to get up out of bed. He let out a sigh as his chest fell down back close to his rib cage. Was he really going to live this day yet again? Keith turned in his bed, staring at the wall to his left. As he thought about getting up and getting ready a knock came to his door.

"Keith?" It was Shiro's voice, he sounded concerned and worried.

"Go away Shiro...." Keith said as he covered his face with his hands. He didn't know how to look at Shiro right now, he wanted to punch him for being the cause yesterday. If Shiro had just listened to him then Lance would've been alive and he could've moved to the apparently intangible thing known as 'tomorrow'.

"We have to go to the meeting....Allura found out something."

"I don't feel good. I don't want to go."

"This isn't school Keith, don't make me break down this door and drag you out."

"Give me a second....." Keith said as he slowly made his way out of his bed, and sluggishly put on his clothing, ignoring his Paladin armor, and opened his door to Shiro leaning on the adjacent wall looking like his patience was almost out.

"Is everything okay? You look like hell...."

"I'm just reliving a hellish nightmare," Keith said as he passed Shiro and walked in a fast pace towards the communications room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shiro asked as he caught up

"No." Keith ended the conversation with that, making the air around the two hostile. Before entering into the communications room Shiro stopped Keith

"Did I do something? You haven't been this distant towards me since I told you I accepted the Kerberos mission..."

"..." Keith let out a sigh "Lance....keeps dying...." Keith said, "I won't let it happen again." He then entered in, leaving Shiro confused at the entrance.

"Why is Shiro the only one in his armor? You all should know by now that you need to be prepared at all times!" Allura condemned as she scolded all of the team, just like last time and the time before that.

Keith tried to force himself to pay attention to Allura but all he found himself doing was staring at Lance. Keith had no clue why Lance didn't look his usual 100%-- not that he looked bad--but Keith was just curious. Keith motioned his eyes up to the same eyes that had stared his down many a time and noticed that at the very edge of Lance's eye (right before his eyelashes) he had a small birthmark, it was so close to his skin color that Keith had no idea how he found it. He was snapped back into reality with a semi-rough nudge from Shiro and a look of 'eyes on Allura, not Lance' AKA 'Pay attention'. Keith looked at Allura, her lips moving but his soul so occupied that the only thing coming into his ears were the soft sounds of his breathing.

"Lance and Keith, I want you two to focus on the left flank while Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk focus on the right flank."

"No." Keith folded his arms. Everyone looked at him in shock

"What?" Allura questioned, hurt and angry

"I am not going on the mission," Keith said letting out a breath

"Why not?!" Allura bantered back

"Because, this mission is useless. One of us is going to die if we go on this mission. I don't think we should go, so I'm staying here."

"We need you to form Voltron!" Lance intervened

"We won't be able to form Voltron anyway!" Keith retorted

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do."

"Alright!" Shiro stopped the fight

"Keith," Allura began "All the Paladins need to go on this mission, or we aren't going to go at all--"

"Good! We don't need to go. It's not going to end well."

"How do you know?" Lance questioned through his teeth

"I just do, okay? I would prefer us to all be alive."

"I think Keith is just concerned that this plan might be a bit too forward. We are trying to attack a secondary base of Zarkon's--"

Keith cringed at Shiro defending him with the same words as yesterday, he let out a click of his tongue and looked away from everyone to the ground.

"You do what you all want. I am not leaving this ship." Keith turned and left the communications room, not looking back behind himself as he made his way to the training deck. He needed to get this anger out, he needed to vent and hit something.

"Keith!" He heard Shiro's voice chasing after him

Keith stopped in his steps and turned towards Shiro, "What?"

"What was that?" Shiro asked

"What was what?" Keith demanded back

"Back at the meeting? You're not acting like yourself today... Do you really think you know how this mission is going to go? Keith, I'm worried about you."

"Shiro, this mission is just...not good. I don't want anyone to die.... I've lived with too many deaths already."

"Does this have to do with that nightmare you commented about earlier? With Lance dying?"

"It wasn't an imaginary nightmare, Shiro! I'm literally living the same day over again!" Keith accidentally blurted out

"What?" Shiro furrowed his brows as he thought for a second "That's not possible, by any stretch of the imagination..."

"Shiro, I wouldn't make something like this up! Please!"

"Keith you can't just _not_ go. We **all** have to do this mission. We will be saving lives."

"I'm not going Shiro, this is the only way that I can think of that will save someone from dying. I will not leave and it would be best if you all didn't leave either."

"Keith...." Shiro sympathetically looked at Keith

"Shiro?" Lance's voice came over Shiro's headset "Where are you? Did you get Keith?" 

"I'll be right there..." Shiro answered back "Keith--"

"You can't force me to go."

Keith knew that his rational was not sound by any stretch of the imagination. But he thought that him being there might've been part of the problem, and he thought that maybe the rest of the team would've stayed behind with him. But they didn't...... they trekked on.

The team left and Keith found himself beating up the Gladiator in the training deck. He had on his helmet to listen to the fights and the conversations, but he muted his mic so that the team didn't know that he was listening in. Keith had just gotten to Level 8, his chest rising and falling almost as constant as his emotions.

 

"I'm going to try to get inside," he heard Pidge's voice call

Keith's breath hitched as he thought about turning on his mic and telling them to not, but he was to stuck in fear over him not being there to help.... he should've left....

"Be careful, ok?" Shiro called back

There was a subtle rumble in Keith's ears

"Pidge, what did you do?!" Lance's panicked voice screamed

"Nothing! I'm not even on the ship yet!"

There was a chilling silence, a small moment when Keith could feel the depression in the air inside of the lions.

"Is this where it ends?"

Keith shut off the simulation and fell to his knees.

_It didn't matter._

_Lance..........Lance?_

"Don't be a pessimist!" Pidge roared

"We'll be okay!" Hunk tried to encourage

"Don't go there, Lance!" Shiro replied

Then there was white noise.

Keith heard Shiro's desperate cries for Lance, gasps, and curses. He heard Shiro curse him under his breath.

"Allura we need and extraction, now!" Shiro angrily called into the headset

"Okay, we'll be there as soon as possible!"

Keith couldn't move. He thought that this would've solved something. He was taught that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing......but it didn't work this time....

"I'm opening the hanger doors..." Allura spoke, "Wait, why isn't Lance piloting the Blue lion?" There was no answer to Allura's question

Keith punched the ground of the training deck as hard as he could and ran to the hanger with all his speed, his heart wrenching, and his mind a mush. He heard Shiro's quivering huffs and whimpers in his helmet and that was not a good sign, he heard the doors to the hanger shut and so he felt that it was safe to enter. He entered just as Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk ran to the Blue lion's limp body.

"We have to get the Blue lion open somehow!"

The blue lion looked even worse. Her jaw was almost the only thing intact on her armored body. The shoulder shot clean off, her eyes cracked and glazed with a red hue that dazzled the insides. She was even completely missing her left leg--torn off by who knows what.

"What happened?!" Keith ran to them, condemning himself for staying. That's when Shiro snapped his head in Keith's direction and pierced a gaze of hatred straight into Keith's heart. He had never seen this look from Shiro, nor had he ever wanted to.  

"What happened?!?!!" Shiro repeated "Hell. That's what. We needed you out there today but instead, you decided to mull in your room and not go out with us in battle!"

"Shiro--"

"No, Keith!" Shiro yelled, surprising them all, "This isn't the Garrison, you can't ignore your duties! Lance is dead because of you."

"Shiro...that's a little extreme..." Hunk said in a really saddened tone

"I know that it's my fault, damn it!" Keith teared up and he then decided to vent to Shiro "But this morning when I told you this was going to happen you looked at me cross-eyed! I told you that someone was going to die if we left the castle and did this mission!"

"And how were we supposed to believe you! You sounded deranged! It sounded like one of your asinine conspiracy theories that have no demerit!" Shiro yelled back "Plus, if you were there we could've formed Voltron! Lance didn't have to die!"

"He was going to die anyway!" Keith balled up his fists and punched Shiro in the jaw as hard as he could, sending Shiro to the ground "Do not talk down to me Takashi. I'm not a small child you can scold."

"Really? I could sure mistake you for one, with how you're acting, Kogane."

Keith stood there for a second, a small memory of the past when he and Shiro were growing up flew into his head. He remembered back when he was about 7 and Shiro was about 11. The fight looked and sounded almost like this....but it was over the family cat. Keith shivered the memory out of his system--which could be mistaken for a shiver of fear from the glare that protruded out of Shiro's gaze.

Keith bit his tongue from saying anything else....not that it would matter tomorrow.

Nothing that happened today will matter tomorrow.

Lance will be alive again, and Keith will have to suffer losing him again.

Keith ran out of the hanger, passing Allura and Coran on his way to his room.

"Keith?" Allura called after Keith in a worry

"It doesn't matter! Nothing matters!!" Keith screamed, "Tomorrow everything will be the same!"

_Nothing matters! Nothing at all! Lance is just going to keep dying and there is nothing I can do! Lance will just keep dying and keep dying and keep dying and keep dying......will.....will I become numb to this? Will losing Lance become some everyday thing to me? Will.....will I not care? NO!! No!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!_

_What is happening to me? When will this nightmare end? I rather be dead than live this nightmare forever._  



	4. Chapter 4

Keith sat on the side of his bed, hitting his legs in damnation. For Keith, it's been two weeks constantly living this nightmare. He's done everything that he's thought he could in order to save Lance, he even just went with the flow one day to see if the universe wanted him to live it the same again (for some reason) but that wasn't it either. Keith couldn't think of any other way of going at it than to try to convince Allura to not have them go....he's tried so many times and he's tired with her rejecting his proposals, but he wants Lance to be safe. He want's to show Lance his love, he want's Lance to live by his side (as if these past two weeks he suddenly wished for a domesticated life with Lance by his side). 

"Paladin's--" Keith shot up and didn't even listen to the rest of Allura's words as he threw on his clothes and ran to the communications room before anyone else. 

"Keith, why are you--"

"We can't go on the mission today!" Keith tried to stay calm, but his voice was slightly hoarse from waking up a little bit ago so it sounded as if he had been crying for a bit

"What? Why?" She asked

"I just think...." Keith paused shivering at the thought of going on that damned mission again "I think we should just stay here, train some more. I think that a mission, right now, wouldn't be the best idea." 

"You don't even know what the mission is--" Pidge entered into the room, her mood off as per usual of the day--"If there is even a mission."

"Allura, just hear me out," Keith looked to Allura trying to keep his stoic face, "I think it would be better if we trained again today. I just think that making our movements as a team would be more beneficial than running into battle, again." 

"Allura, is everything alright?" Shiro entered into the control room with Lance and Hunk behind him. 

To Keith, this was a good sign. Today was already different from every other day--but it was the same day since Lance was still alive and yesterday was one of the worst deaths yet. 

"Keith is just telling me he doesn't think we are ready for the field, he want's us to train again."

"What's with you and training all the time, man?" Lance asked as he stretched out his back and let out a little yawn

"I just think we should spend another day training, we're not going to become Defenders of the Universe over night....." Keith felt like he was losing this argument, as he had several times before. But he decided to try a tactic that might work this time, he never tried to force another paladin to see his side and he thought that this would be the best opportunity to put them on the spot--though he'd rather not because he treasured everyone, even though they've all ripped into him over Lance's death by now "Shiro thinks so too, we were talking about it last night." Keith snapped his head back to Shiro and opened his eyes wide as if to scream 'HELP!'. 

Shiro let out a sigh as if he couldn't defy the panicked look that Keith gave him. 

"Shiro?" Allura asked

"Yeah..... I think it might be good for us to train another day, too." Shiro obviously (to Keith) lied

"Alright then, Coran and I will discuss training exercises for a little bit, why don't you all go get breakfast." Allura smiled. 

"Ugh, booooo!" Lance complained as he left with his duckling Hunk behind him. Pidge left in a silent manner behind Hunk leaving Shiro and Keith to walk out together. The two walked close by, Keith making it obvious he didn't want to explain himself nor his actions, but Shiro had some other plans. Shiro grabbed Keith's bicep and forced him to a halt as the other three continued towards the dining area. 

"Keith," Shiro began in his overly practiced older brother tone "Why?" he let go of Keith's bicep as he waited for an answer with his brows knitted together in concern.

Keith let out a sigh "I just..." He knew he couldn't tell Shiro AGAIN why he didn't want to go on this friggin mission "Well, the idea of a mission so soon just doesn't settle well with me." Keith said letting out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair

"I'm glad that you are showing some signs of becoming a leader." Shiro smiled as he put his hand on Keith's shoulder.  

The two then walked towards the dining room and grabbed their own green goo to sit down and welcome the morning with the other three (who ignored their late entrance). It took no more than a few minutes for the group to be talking like old friends, gossiping about missions and trading stories about training and different planets they wanted to go to and some planets they wanted to return to. Keith stayed quiet as he took in the domestic banter between them all. At this point he'd be hearing Hunk's voice calling out for Lance and Lance saying his goodbye's....but he was here, Lance was safe right now. 

"Holy crow, Hunk!!" Lance laughed a hearty laugh, sending an ocean of emotions through Keith's system. The warm feeling of Lance laughing his adorable laugh, Keith smiled as nothing but the Ocean came to mind. Lance talked about the ocean so often that it was engraved in everyone's head whenever they looked into Lance's eyes. At first, Keith wanted the ocean blue eyes that swirled and swayed in Lance's possession, but now that he's gotten to know Lance he knows that Lance is the only one capable of wielding them with such passion. Keith thought that Lance could be the son of Poseidon with how accurate Lance's eyes were to the emotions of the waves and the cotton feeling of the wind against the skin. Keith closed his eyes for a second as Lance's laugh was only enticed by Hunk's sunshine. Keith looked back to the one time he was at the ocean, it was with Shiro's family. They went for only an hour or so and Keith was afraid the ocean would consume him, he was afraid of what was in the depths because the ocean is way too big and mysterious for him to handle--and when he began talking about space Shiro made fun of him slightly, because space is WAY bigger than the ocean. 

"Keith, are you alright?" Pidge asked 

"Yeah," Keith opened his eyes

"If you're tired you should go to bed," Hunk commented a little concerned

"Seriously, I'm okay," Keith looked at them with his huge smile fading to a serious look. 

They then went back to talking. It seemed like high school banter, which was comforting to Keith.

"Alright!" Allura entered into the dining room, "Coran and I have come up with training schedules for all of you." Lance let out a sigh to himself as he looked to Allura. Keith was ready for training, no one could get hurt because even if they were with the gladiators they aren't programmed to kill, and if they formed Voltron then the only thing that would wipe them out is the feeling of constant combining. "Keith and Lance are going to be in the training bay, where you will both do several little training exercises."

"Wait!" Lance interrupted "Why do I have to be stuck with him??" He pointed to Keith

"Probably because of that," Pidge commented with a little snicker

"You two seem the least compatible, so in order to drive that compatibility up even one iota, you must work together." Allura explained "Shiro and Hunk, you two will be with me. We will be training outside in the elements, and Pidge you will be with Coran working around the ship fixing the little malfunctions that we, somehow, still have." Everyone else seemed to be content with their assignments, and in truth, Keith was okay with his, but Lance seemed really off. It was like he didn't want to be alone with Keith.  

Keith and Lance walked to the training deck in complete silence. Keith didn't want to start a fight and was fine just being near his friend who was well and alive, but Lance seemed really uncomfortable. When they entered into the training bay they saw that Allura had programmed a little simulation for them, a simple level 2 simulation with shooting bots, shooting gladiators, and a few sword-wielding gladiators. It wasn't until Lance jokingly pointed his fingers and said: "Start!" that everything began attacking them. 

The two hid behind shields that were given, and thankfully they were warned by Allura to bring their bayards.

"Lance, what did you do??" Keith questioned a little angry he didn't' get a better look at the layout

"What? You think I did this? I was just playing around!" Lance said as he activated his bayard and began shooting at the 'enemies'

Lance and Keith fought together. It was a sight to see. They began to enjoy themselves level after level. Laughing at mistakes they made and when Keith got shot by one of the gladiators and the simulations ended Lance fell to his ass crying in laughter. His healing laughs echoing in the air. They began to play around with the levels, one trying to beat a level by themselves and when they failed they lost a 'life'. Lance said it was like an actual video game, but this was like they were the characters in the video game and they got to react appropriately. 

"Do you want to continue? The other's are probably in the common room right now." 

"We can do one more level, that should be fine." Lance winked "Unless _you_ can't take one more level~" 

"Start Level 6!" Keith yelled to the ship, he smiled to Lance as they watched level six load up and the bots quickly program themselves. 

A new gladiator dropped down from the ceiling, his sword looking just like the color of his altean blue eye. He waited a bit and it wasn't until Keith lunged forward to fight off some of the weaker bots that it dashed towards him with a speed matched only by its own. It took all Keith had to just block the slashes and plunges as the gladiator seemed hell bent on killing Keith. Keith knocked the bot down and went to the others, making sure to shut them off and not slice them in half. Keith turned and looked around himself, he and Lance had won another simulation! He turned to Lance who stood beside him rather than behind him ducked back behind the shield. 

"We did good!" Lance laughed, he turned to one of the bots that he hit with his stun and picked it up. Lance smiled and turned to Keith, who was facing the door. 

"Alright, let's--" 

"Keith look out!" Keith was pushed out of the way, not knowing why he was thrown to the ground. Keith quickly opened his eyes to see why Lance pushed him out of the way, expecting it to be something stupid that Lance and his siblings did back on earth once they had accomplished something big. 

"LANCE!" Keith screamed "END SIMULATION!" Keith couldn't believe his eyes as he screamed at the ship "END!! NOW!" Right in front of him, the one thing he didn't want to happen was happening. A centimeter away From Keith's nose was the blade from the Gladiator of level six, the Gladiator he apparently didn't defeat. On the blade.....more like pierced by the blade....stood Lance. His body had stopped the Gladiator from getting to Keith....but at what cost? Lance had saved Keith. Keith screamed as the gladiator turned off and fell to the ground. Taking its sword with it and out of Lance. Keith caught Lance in his hands, "What were you thinking?" 

"I....It was....going to....get you...." Lance's voice said as he held onto his stomach

"SHRIO!!" Keith called his voice shaking and resonating in the walls "SOMEONE! ANYONE!!" 

"Keith...." 

"I'm right here, Lance," Keith tried to smile to Lance

"I'm sorry...." 

"No, don't--" Keith choked up, tears streaming down his face as his body began to shake--"...Don't act like you're going to die...." 

"We should've stopped.....we didn't need to go level six..." Lance said, then barreling over and hacking up blood "You....were right...."

"Now's not the time for that line!" Keith said then putting his arm under Lance's knees and the other behind his back as he picked Lance up. "Hold on, I'm going to get you help!" Keith sprinted out, hitting the buttons for the doors with the sole of his foot. As Keith ran Lance shivered and clung to his chest, saturating him with blood and tears. Keith ran into the common room, where he knew Allura, Hunk, and Shiro would be. "HELP!" Keith screamed as he entered almost dropping Lance. 

"Keith??" They turned to him "LANCE!" They screamed as they ran to the two. Keith fell to his knees, still holding onto Lance for dear life

"What happened?" Allura asked shocked

"We were training and I turned my back for a second....the gladiator lunged at me, but Lance put himself in the way..." Keith looked to Allura "I thought they weren't supposed to actually kill us!" 

"They.." Allura looked at him shocked "They shouldn't be capable of it...."

Hunk couldn't move as  Shiro kneeled in front of Keith and looked over Lance, his once semi-light mocha skin was now a ghostly white, Lance's breathing was on and off and he seemed worse for wear.

"We have to get him to the pods now." 

"They're down for maintenance....it would take about 160 ticks to get them back up..." Allura commented remembering that Pidge and Coran just began to tinker with them. 

"He won't--!" Keith stopped himself from saying that Lance wouldn't make it, it was obvious. 

"So...." Lance gasped "This is it then?" 

"Don't say that!" Keith scolded "Please.....don't....." Lance put his hand up to Keith's face for a second wiping away a tear as he then set his cold hand back down. He smiled to Keith, or at least projected something with the likeness of a smile. 

"Keith...." Lance let out a cough "I'm sorry...." 

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Lance," Keith said in a low tone

"He's right..." Shiro cried, "you've done nothing wrong....nothing...."

"Silly," Lance smiled "I'm sorry I never told you....h-h-how...how I feel." Lance's head bobbed as he tried to stay conscious

"You don't need to say anything, just....." Keith went to continue but realized that Lance's body had gone limp in his arms. That Lance's face had ceased to make any more movements. That the blood dripping down the corner of Lance's mouth was the only thing moving in the room right now...... "No...." Keith gasped "NO!!!" He convulsed as he brought Lance's body into a tight hug as he cried out for Lance to say something, to do something....for anything..... Keith took Lance being alive for granted.....

"Keith...." Shiro said in a regretful tone "He's.....gone...." 

"No....I....I should've...." Keith thought that this time it would've worked. That this time Lance would've lived to the next day, that they could've had a different day tomorrow. How was he supposed to know that the gladiator would've tried to go and kill him? How was he to know that Lance would risk his life for the one he banters with daily? HOW?!? How was he to know to stop this? 

Is it even possible for Lance to be alive for more than today?

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Criticism is welcomed and if you have tips on how I can change the characters please do tell me. If you want to talk about some of the possibilities in the later chapters then you may message/ask me on [Tumblr](http://enhance-ao3.tumblr.com/). Thank you all so much for seeming to like this book and even if it's just a 'nice' please comment! Next chapter will be out Friday!


	5. Chapter 5

"Lance!"

"Lance, NO!"

"LANCE!!! NOOO!"

"Lance, don't die on me!"

"Lance, everything will be okay!"

"LANCE!"

"Lance, take a breath, we'll take the knife out"

"Lance! You're shot, this is no laughing matter!"

"Lance! Don't cry, you'll be fine"

"Lance!"

"Lance, don't go!"

"Yeah, whatever, I love you too. Now stop saying goodbye! LANCE!"

"Lance....!"

"Lance..."

"Lance?"

"Lan--"

 

"It's not even worth it anymore," Keith curled up in his bed. He had to have lived Lance's death over a hundred times by now. He knew that it had to be so. He could account for almost all of them (one of which, was definitely his fault....). Keith was done and tired, he didn't want to get out of bed _again_ just to see Lance die _again_ in some demonically placed way. He wanted to stay back, he wanted to do something. He.....he wanted Lance to live. He just wanted Lance.

Keith thought back to a few deaths ago (maybe five) where him and Lance actually kissed and exchanged confessions, so he knew that Lance felt the same way, he knew that Lance wanted him too.....he just....he didn't know if it was just that day's Lance that said that or if Lance actually loved him. But man.....did Keith fall hard for Lance. Keith already liked Lance a little before, he had liked him from afar at the Garrison before he was kicked out and decided to try and forget about Lance. But then he met Lance on the night that Shiro appeared back on Earth and all his emotions came crashing back. He tried to fight them, and in a way was really rude to Lance in their first official meeting. Now that he was stuck up in space with Lance he certainly couldn't avoid those feelings, it just crushed his heart to keep seeing Lance die in his arms, as it would anyone.

Keith didn't know what he was going to do, but he didn't want to see Lance die. Whatever it was. He was going to stop Lance from dying today. Today was the day that he was not going to witness Lance's death. It was it. It was here. Today was it. Today was the day.

"Keith?" Shiro's voice sounded as he knocked on Keith's door in a concerned manner.

"I know, I heard....." Keith said as he went ahead and put his armor on. He began to think that maybe he should just play the day as is and go with it. Maybe Lance wouldn't die...maybe this time he went with the day....he knew it was insane to think so, so he just got on his armor as he tried to think of a new way to go.

Keith felt like he was the main character in one of the video games Lance talks about. Keith would consider this a 'level' and some that were close to impossible to beat unless there was some sort of cheat code. He felt like he just hit reset or restart at the end of the day and that he was never going to pass unless he cheated or died, but neither was really doable. He wanted a life with Lance, and a life with Lance involved being alive himself, so it's not exactly as easy as killing himself.

Keith left out his room door

"Morning," Keith tried to look like he had a good night rest.

"Not to be rude," Shiro winced when he said that because they both knew it was going to be a tad bit rude "But you don't look so good." They began to walk towards the communications room. "Are you not getting enough sleep? I mean I know the training yesterday was a little much and I shouldn't have pushed us that much, but--"

Shiro began to ramble, thinking he offended Keith in some way, but Keith was used to this by now. This interaction had already happened a dozen times. He had reacted all kinds of different ways by now. But that wasn't what Keith was focused on. He didn't care to cater to Shiro's words, though Shiro had been his mental stability for his whole life up to this point, Keith had to find out how to get Lance to be safe.

"Shiro," Keith said stopping a ways before he knew they'd meet up with Lance and Hunk

"Yeah?" Shiro stopped and looked to Keith

"I...I don't know what to do....I'm in this situation where I feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall repeatedly and I can't stop."

"Does this have to do with Lance?"

"W-W-What?!" Keith stuttered and blushed "You know??"

"Keith," Shiro smiled "It's obvious to everyone, but Lance, how you feel." Shiro chuckled with the fact that Keith was thinking that he was being secretive. Keith thought back, he had assumed that he only had been obvious in this loop of torture (one day he even tried several pick up lines of Lance), but he was unsure if he was obvious before. "I mean, even back in the Garrison, when you would rant about being put in the same sentence as 'That Lance guy'." Shiro laughed at Keith's avoiding gaze. "But, anyway, is there anything I can help with? Relationship advice?"

"Oh, yeah? Takashi 'Single' Shirogane is going to set me up?" Keith laughed at his own joke as Shiro looked slightly offended

"You know why I'm single, but we aren't going to get into that up here." Shiro slightly scolded as he motioned for them to get back to walking so that they could get to the communications and not be yelled at too much "But I can help a little. Like, drop hints."

"Drop hints?" Keith raised a brow "Like what? 'Keith 'desperate' Kogane is looking for someone just as desperate'?"

"What is with you and the middle names today?"

"I don't know," Keith shrugged his shoulders "But seriously....what would you even do?"

"I'll think of something but the end of the day~" Shiro smiled wide as if he were a father watching his son take out the most beautiful partner ever--which Lance was.

Lance was the most beautiful man Keith had ever seen. He didn't know how to explain that without sounding as if he were weird. He loves Lance's eyes, the emotions oceanic hue that they were, that every time he laughed his eyes brightened as if the sun exploded over the horizon of the sea. His laughter, though. His laugh was one that even old grumpy men with their boxers in a twist would make them find peace. Lance's laugh was one for the books. It cured people, Keith heard Hunk make the joke that it cleared his complexion (though he's not so sure how a laugh could do such a thing), and Keith finds himself in even more love when Lance laughs.

The two entered into the communications room. Lance and Hunk were there just a step before them and were getting a mouthful from Allura about how they weren't in their paladin armor. When Shiro and Keith walked in Allura stopped,

"At least you two are prepared...." She let out a little sigh, as if she were under stress, "Today I am sending you all to the Famni quadrant, there is a Galra ship waiting for a delivery of supplies. We are going to infiltrate that ship and destroy it. But keep in mind that this ship is not alone."

"Allura," Keith began, "I think it would be best if we began a bit smaller."

"Smaller?" Allura questioned.

Keith knew where this was going. He had chosen to use this about two weeks ago when he wanted to throw Allura off and have her accidentally send him and Lance to a different quadrant (which didn't work out too well).

"Yeah," Keith said before Allura could get her words in, words Keith already knew, "I think that if we start in the Kinguan quadrant, where there are smaller ships and fewer fleets of ships we could really make more of a dent."

"You think that by squashing Ants, we'll get rid of the queen?" Pidge asked as she put her chin into her hand to think. She seemed to think that it might be a really good idea, but also she seemed not sure.

"I don't understand, don't you--"

"Of course we want to destroy Zarkon, but if we free the smaller people now, and go for the larger fleets later, then we'll have more people behind us when we win. Just because we take a fleet out doesn't mean the quadrant would be ours." Keith said, feeling confident in this choice. He held his hand in a reassuring fist to his side, so that he didn't celebrate just yet. Just because they were going to go to smaller targets (potentially) does not mean Lance's safety.

"It does sound like a better idea, Princess," Coran added as he twisted his mustache between his pointer finger and his thumb.

"I suppose. Alright, Paladins, we are going to go with Keith's plan. I'll go ahead and set you all up to head to the Kinguan quadrant and start taking down some of the smaller ships." Allura dismissed them with a smile and a thumbs up to Keith.

Keith smiled that this plan worked, last time it didn't. We'll, to be honest, he didn't know the name of the quadrant last time and he didn't really say anything important. He just rambled on and on.

Keith and Shiro walked together towards their lions, which were 'parked' in the same spots, and Shiro was talking so proudly.

"That was awesome, Keith!" Shiro said in an elated tone "I told you that you had it in you!"

Shiro was talking about leadership. Since they were kids Shiro has always thought of Keith as a great leader, he holds no bias towards anyone, he never tends to overthink things and Keith is extremely kind hearted; but Shiro was always worried that if Keith were to become a leader too soon, with some of his flaws in order (as Keith has a terrible memory, terrible sense of direction, he tends to underthink things and just charge in without a solid plan). But, to Shiro, Keith is now showing his leadership.

"I'm kind of happy that it went through..." Keith said thinking back to when he last asked her to do that and received a slap in the face along with choice altean words.

Shiro and Keith got to their Lions, ready for the adventure that awaited them today and waiting for the other three to get geared up and ready. They wanted to wait for the other three before they departed just in case.

The other three were ready in no time and called in one by one as they go into their lions. Lance sounded tired when he called in with a 'ready', Hunk seemed happy and ready for the morning (well, he is the sunshine so the morning doesn't start until Hunk's up), with an 'I can't wait to see who we meet!', and Pidge called in with a thinking 'ready when you are'.

With that, the five were off. They waited for Allura to open and portal and when it was there they flew through it and were off to the quieter quadrant.

Or so Keith thought.

He couldn't have known. It's not like he had a radar that this could've happened. He didn't know. There was no way! Everyone yelled as they avoided lasers being shot in every direction; an armada of Galra ships stood in front of them as if the main fleet were looking for a new place to conquer. It was way too many ships.

"Sorry!" Keith yelled as the five broke and tried to all come out decent.

"It's not your fault!" Pidge called in a serious manner "How were you supposed to know? It's not like it's broadcasted that they are having a war out here."

"Yeah, let's just go back through the portal and head back to the castle. No problem" Shiro said.

Just as they all adjusted the lions the portal closed, Allura had warned them that she couldn't hold them open for longer anymore but would open another later on.

"Shiro, what do we do??" Hunk asked with his voice shaking

"I guess we form Voltron."

The five did just that. They got together and formed Voltron.

But just like every day before this, Voltron couldn't be formed. When the five got together they didn't combine. They shot out from each other and spin slightly. Everyone called in protest, they didn't understand why. Before they knew it, shots were being fired in their direction. They were being attacked by the armada that was out in front of them and now attacking from behind. It seemed that the war that was at hand was put on hold due to their presence.

"The ion cannon....." Lance said in a 'we are dead' voice

"Lance, don't worry!" Hunk tried to comfort

_No._

"Yeah, Lance, we'll be fine!"

_NO._

"No worries--"

_NO!_

Keith thought to himself. He knew this was it. He knew Lance was now dead. He knew that for a fact. After Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro tried to comfort him....he knew. Keith was stuck thinking. He couldn't move. He didn't want to. If he moved there would be a higher chance of seeing Lance dead.

"Keith!" He heard Shiro's shrill cry inside the headset followed by Lance

"Keith! Look out!" a violent thud to the red lion as she spun in the suspended air

In the corner of his eye, Keith saw a large purple energy beam swirl its way behind him. The light ignited the whole starry sky as if to try to make it purple as if to claim the whole universe as the Galra's. Keith whimpered when he heard gasps and 'no's' from the other three.

"Lance?" Keith shook as he didn't want to even think that this was it. He didn't want to turn around and see Lance gone. "Lance, please....." Keith felt red apologize as they both slowly turned "Lance?"

A surge of overwhelming depression surged through Keith, originating from Red. Seeing her blue hued sister like that was not for anyone to see.  Keith began to cry. He was done crying, but he just couldn't help it. It was emotional. Blue was in half. Her body cut down the center almost perfectly. Her power off and a large hole burrowed in her glass eye with her little pilot hanging out, his blood dripping down her face plates. The impact had shot him forward so roughly that his body came through the glass in blue's eye....., cutting Lance in exit, opening his stomach up, killing him instantly. Keith closed his eyes to sob, he threw his helmet off and placed his head in his hands as he screamed in agony. Keith felt a slight feeling of emotional release as he then realized that he was laying down instead of sitting. He wanted to question why he was laying down but instead, he shot his eyes wide open. He saw the top of his bed staring right back at him. It was as if the universe assumed that when Keth closed his eyes back in red that he was going to sleep. So now. It reset his day. Keith turned around in his bed and screamed into his pillow as Allura's voice echoed in his room yet again.

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss."  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took longer to have out! My only viable excuse is work, but that's getting kind of old with my family. Anyway! I think the next chapter will be the last. I guess we'll see when I start writing it. I hope you guys are enjoying the book and if you need anything, I'm on[Tumblr](http://enhance-ao3.tumblr.com/).


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do know that there is some same wording from Chapter 4, but that is on purpose due to this being almost the same scenario. Forgive me if you do not like that. Happy reading!

Keith was going to try again. It would be his twelfth try for this particular scenario, but damn it all if he wasn't going attempt a day that ended with Lance alive

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss". Allura's voice rang as Keith sprinted down the hallway to the communications room, he was going to have them all stay here again and when him and Lance fight in the simulator Keith is going to make sure to kill the gladiator so that Lance will survive. That's at least the plan. 

"Keith, why are you--"

"We can't go on the mission today, please Allura."

"Why?" Allura was caught off guard when she heard Keith plead with her for the team to stay here

"I have a bad feeling...." Keith paused thinking "I just think we should just stay here, train some more (or something). I think that a mission wouldn't be the best idea, seeing how yesterday went and all." He thought about how the yesterday did go, and that thought alone made him want to cry. He was so close to having Lance live to the end of the day, but then the castle got really weird and he got stuck in the airlock again. Lance was then sucked out into space and the team all questioned him as to why lance was in the airlock in the first place (well that was due to them bonding and Keith wanted Lance to not be afraid of the airlock after the galra crystal incident). But just as Keith was out of the airlock and turned to reach for Lance, it closed and locked. Pulling Lance out into the abyss--killing him instantly.

Keith didn't want to remember that. He knew that he had to avoid the airlock today, but like hell, he was going to allow the lions to leave this castle. 

"You don't even know what the mission is--" Pidge entered into the room--"If there is even a mission."

"Allura, just hear me out," Keith looked to Allura trying to keep his stoic face, "I think it would be better if we trained again today. Just think of yesterday and all the mistakes.... I just don't want anyone to die out there."

"Allura, is everything alright?" Shiro entered into the control room with Lance and Hunk behind him.

"Keith is just telling me he doesn't think we are ready for the field, he want's us to train again."

"What's with you and training all the time, man?" Lance asked as he stretched out his back and let out a little yawn, as per usual of the day. Keith kept a small smile to himself as Lance's yawn echoed slightly in the communications room.

"I just think we should spend another day training, we're not going to become Defenders of the Universe overnight." Keith finally felt confident in this statement (it only took him ten tries to make it sound like he actually meant it and not more like a question. He didn't even need Shiro's words to back him up, he felt so confident.

"Alright then," Allura said quite proud of Keith, and seemingly not putting up that much of a fight "Coran and I will discuss training exercises for a little bit, why don't you all go get breakfast."

"Ugh, booooo!" Lance complained as he left with Hunk following closely behind him. Pidge left in a silent manner behind Hunk leaving Shiro and Keith to walk out together. The two walked close by, Keith was waiting for Shiro to ask, he knew he would. Keith was ready to defend himself (as Shiro had said a few days ago, "You need to be able to defend yourself, before you can defend the universe").

"Keith," Shiro asked as he grabbed Keith's bicep and stopped him in his tracks "Why?" he let go of Keith's bicep as he waited for an answer with his brows knitted together in concern.

"Well," Keith began "the idea of a mission so soon just doesn't settle well with me. I have a bad feeling about us leaving because we still aren't that strong as a team." Keith said letting out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair

"I'm glad that you are showing some signs of becoming a leader." Shiro smiled as he put his hand on Keith's shoulder.  

The two then walked towards the dining room and grabbed their own green goo to sit down and welcome the morning with the other three (who ignored their late entrance). It took no more than a few minutes for the group to be talking like old friends, gossiping about missions and trading stories about training and different planets they wanted to go to and some planets they wanted to return to. Keith stayed quiet as he took in the domestic banter between them all. At this point he'd be hearing Hunk's voice calling out for Lance and Lance saying his goodbye's....but he was here, Lance was safe right now.

"Holy crow, Hunk!!" Lance laughed a hearty laugh, sending an ocean of emotions through Keith's system. He was used to feeling this by now, the laugh hadn't gone numb to him but more gave him life and gave him a hope that one day Lance would be his and he would be the source of Lance's laughter.

Keith closed his eyes to think of Lance and him back on earth in his little hut surrounded by desert. It brought a small smile to his lips as he could think of nothing better than that. 

"Keith?"

"Yeah," Keith opened his eyes

"If you're tired you should go to bed," Hunk commented a little concerned

"Seriously, I'm okay," Keith looked at them with his huge smile fading to a serious look.

They then went back to talking. It seemed like high school banter, which was somewhat comforting to Keith.

"Alright!" Allura entered into the dining room, "Coran and I have come up with training schedules for all of you. Keith and Lance are going to be in the training bay, where you will both do several little training exercises--."

"Wait!" Lance interrupted "Why do I have to be stuck with him??" He pointed to Keith

"Probably because of that," Pidge commented with a little snicker

"You two seem the least compatible, so in order to drive that compatibility up even one iota, you must work together." Allura explained "Shiro and Hunk, you two will be with me. We will be training outside in the elements, and Pidge you will be with Coran working around the ship fixing the little malfunctions that we, somehow, still have." Everyone else seemed to be content with their assignments, and in truth, Keith was okay with his, but Lance seemed really off. It was like he didn't want to be alone with Keith.

Keith and Lance walked to the training deck in complete silence. Keith was fine just being near his friend who was well and alive (he did want to say something but in the end, he decided that it was best to keep it to himself), but Lance seemed really uncomfortable. When they entered into the training bay they saw that Allura had programmed a little simulation for them, a simple level 2 simulation with shooting bots, shooting gladiators, and a few sword-wielding gladiators. It wasn't until Lance jokingly pointed his fingers and said: "Start!" that everything began attacking them.

The two hid behind shields that were given, and thankfully they were warned by Allura to bring their bayards.

"Lance, what did you do??" Keith laughingly questioned as he saw Lance's panicked expression

"What? You think I did this? I was just playing around! Don't laugh at me!!" Lance said as he activated his bayard and began shooting at the 'enemies'

Lance and Keith fought together. It was a sight to see. They began to enjoy themselves level after level. Laughing at mistakes they made (more like the mistakes Lance made because Keith had already memorized the bots patterns). They began to play around with the levels, one trying to beat a level by themselves and when they failed they lost a 'life'. Lance said it was like an actual video game, but this was like they were the characters in the video game and they got to react appropriately. Keith really liked when Lance said this part of the day, it was as if life were flowing thought Lance's eyes as he talked about old games that he wished could do this and that. Keith cherished this part.

"Do you want to continue? The other's are probably in the common room right now."

"We can do one more level, that should be fine." Lance winked "Unless _you_ can't take one more level~"

"It's not that I can't handle it, I just think we should head ba--"

"Start Level 6!" Lance yelled with a huge smile plastered over his face "Guess we have to stay for another level. 

A new gladiator dropped down from the ceiling, his sword looking just like the color of his altean blue eye. He waited a bit and it wasn't until Keith lunged forward to fight off some of the weaker bots that it dashed towards him with a speed matched only by its own. It took all Keith had to just block the slashes and plunges as the gladiator seemed hell bent on killing Keith, again Keith tried to figure out why the gladiator was so keen on a war path but he found nothing again as he stabbed right through the head of the bot. Keith turned and looked around himself, he and Lance had won another simulation! He turned to Lance who stood beside him rather than behind him ducked back behind the shield.

"We did good!" Lance laughed, he turned to one of the bots that he hit with his stun and picked it up. Lance smiled and turned to Keith, who was facing the door. "You want to head back now?" Lance looked to Keith who just stood there, not moving. "Keith?" Lance walked towards him and saw that there was a small tear falling down Keith's cheek. 

This was the first time Keith had cried in front of Lance, ever, this was the first time in all these days that an unwounded Lance had seen Keith cry. 

"Hey, what's wrong." Lance put his hand on Keith's shoulder. "I'm sorry--" Keith pulled Lance into a hug, placing his head on Lance's shoulder. 

Keith felt so happy that he finished the simulation and Lance was alive! It had only happened twice now, and it was the best feeling to hold a nonbleeding Lance. 

"You don't need to be sorry...." Keith said into Lance's shoulder, his voice bubbled in depression. Lance wrapped his hands around Keith, trying to comfort him as well. Keith didn't know what to say, he wanted to thank Lance but that would just be weird to thank him for a hug.

So Keith did the only rational thing in his mind. 

Keith separated from Lance, enough to look at him but not enough to break their embrace. Keith slowly leaned in and connected their lips, crashing emotions together and ripping apart his heart. He hadn't kissed Lance for a long time, but still this was only his second time kissing Lance. It felt as magical as the first kiss especially when Lance leaned into the kiss after a while. Keith put his hand behind Lance's head, running his hand through Lance's hair as he deepened the kiss. 

"Finally," The two heard at the door as they jumped from each other's embrace and touch. They both looked to the door to see Hunk and Pidge in the doorway smiling like idiots. 

"H-Ho-How long--?" Lance questioned, his beautiful skin blushing all over

"Long enough~," Pidge commented in a coo

"Why are you two here?" Keith questioned trying to stifle his blush as he also tried to stay his stoic self

"Shiro asked why you two were taking so long, so the two of us decided to come check and make sure you weren't dead." Pidge couldn't help but smile

"We'll go tell them that you two are still practicing." Hunk nudged Pidge to leave the two alone

"What?" Lance questioned, his voice cracking

"You both have a lot to talk about~" 

Which, unknown to Keith and Lance, they did. The two ended up sitting on the floor of the training deck talking. They seemed to be pouring their hearts out and venting. Lance had, apparently, been crushing on Keith since the garrison but he didn't think a guy like Keith would even notice a guy like him. When Keith said he was the same Lance smiled so wide. Because Keith had loved Lance from afar back then too, he thought that with all of Lance's antics that he was straight and would be mortified if Keith said anything. 

"But I told the class I was Bi," Lance commented

"I think that was after I was kicked out because I don't remember that." 

The two talked for a good amount of time. They vented and they cooed. Lance ended up accidentally adding on "I love you" to the end of one of his sentences and Keith just blushed. The only other time Lance had said that was when he was dying in Keith's arms. 

Today was a good day, in Keith's mind. He tried his best to not say 'What could go wrong' or 'how could Lance die?'.

Lance and Keith went to the common room after sharing another kiss, they decided that after about half an hour of talking their emotions out it was about time to head to the common room and see the others. 

 Keith wasn't sure how to feel, I mean, he was elated that Lance felt the same, that they got to share a kiss and were walking down the hall with their hands smooshed together but he had a feeling in the back of his head that this wasn't going to last. It never did. Keith looked slightly aggravated as he held onto Lance's hand to make sure that no matter what, Lance was going to survive through this day. They walked into the common room and both separated their hands (Lance did it more so for Keith's sake than anything, because Keith wasn't exactly the physical type). 

 The day went on and it seemed perfectly fine. Keith was becoming paranoid because he was just waiting for the moment when Lance would drop dead or something would malfunction, or he just didn't know what. Lance, at one point, asked Keith if he regretted telling him because of how angry he looked, but in reality, Keith was staring down the airlock just in case. 

The two were getting tired now, assuming that it was night time on earth. They both were found right beside the blue lion cuddled up on her forehead. Keith patted her head under his palm as Lance talked and talked about all the things they'd do as a couple when the war was over. It felt like they had been dating forever, in Keith's eyes, because of all the days that he's spent trying to keep Lance alive; and Lance, well he was just so excited that this day was here. He confessed that he bickered with Keith only to keep him on his toes and to make sure that Lance was the only thing on Keith's mind. Lance wanted Keith to notice him and cherish him. To try and 'one up' him. 

Just as everything was going great, Keith's vision began to darken. He felt light headed and as if he were about to pass out. 

"Do you....feel that?" Lance questioned as he sat up, a little too quickly, and upchucked the goo from earlier "Sorry, Blue...." Lance wheezed

"Lance??" Keith squinted his eyes as he tried to see, it was as if he had as much vision as when he was in the desert during a sand storm. 

"Keith, I'm right here. Dude, I have no idea what's--" Lance's voice caught in his throat and his body crashed against the blue lion. His body slipped down the head and slapped against the ground underneath them. 

"Lance?? LANCE??? Lance what's going on??" Keith coughed as he tried to think and move, but his body felt so tight and his mind was as blurry and foggy as his eyesight. 

Keith tried to move, but he felt like his body was made of lead. 

"KEITH!" Keith heard his name being called in a loud concerned voice

"What happened??" Another voice called. 

Keith saw black, green, and yellow figures look over him, as he felt himself being lifted "We'll take him to the cryopods!" 

"What happened, though?!" 

"LANCE!" Keith picked up on Hunk's voice as it's blood-curdling scream echoed through the room "No. no. no. no, Lance!" 

"Keith, look at me--Keith!" Shiro's distinct hair blurred in Keith's vision. "You'll be okay, we'll get you and Lance to the cryopods," Keith felt his head start to clear as Shiro carried him out of the room. But his eyes felt heavy. 

So. 

He closed them. 

 

 

Keith turned. He slowly opened his eyes and saw that he was in his bed. He was okay! What about Lance?? 

Did Lance survive? Was this a repeat? or did he finally make it to the next day?! He shot up and waited, he dared it! 

"1. 2. 3. 4. 5...... is it not going to--!!"

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was a day late! Also, thank you all for reading this book! It makes me happy! Chapter 7 will be the last chapter in this book, I hope you all will enjoy it when it comes out Friday. I will be working on a book in the background, though, I don't know when I will publish it as I have hardly any more 'me' time these days. Hope you guys liked this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Lance woke up, his body slightly sore from the adventures of yesterday with Keith battering him around like he was some sort of wrecking ball. 

Lance stretched out as he let out a small yelp from the back of his throat. He looked to his left where Hunk lay and he let out a little chuckle to Hunk's antics. Last night Hunk had crawled into his bed saying something like 'Pidge won't let me cuddle her anymore, and I don't dare ask Shiro or Keith...'. So Lance, being the guy he is, allowed Hunk to sleep in the same bed and use him as his little snuggle bug. Lance didn't mind, they had done this a handful of times back at the Garrison after Iverson put them through a grueling task and Hunk just needed to cuddle his anger out (It's just how Hunk dealt with things).

Lance slowly got out of Hunk's grasp and started with his daily task of getting ready. He had scavenged the Altean castle night one of being here for similar hair and facial products but he found none. Good thing he had packed his night mask to go the first night.

Lance pampered himself as he got ready, trying to make himself look good enough for Keith to notice him, though it's not like he cared what Keith thought.

"Paladins, please come to the control room. Coran and I have something to discuss." Allura's voice rang in Lance's ears, he smiled as he continued to get ready.

"Lance we got to go!" Hunk barreled in, yanking Lance out of the bathroom without him doing his hair

"HUNK!?!" Lance called in protest as they exited his room.

"Keith!" Shiro pounded on Keith's door, which was down the hall from Lance's "Keith! Open up!!"

"Shiro, is everything okay?" Lance asked as he turned around and went to go help Shiro

"I don't know, Keith isn't answering--"

"I'm fine...." Keith walked out as he let out a sigh. 

Lance looked at Keith's face, he seemed aged at least five years, his eyes were addressed with dark bags underneath them as well as his posture seeming to be forced upright. Lance felt pained to look at Keith and when they met eyes it seemed that Keith was both glad, but also pained. Like his eyes seemed to count down the seconds of waiting for something to happen.

"Dude.... you look like hell...." Lance said wincing at the fact that he actually said that.

"I know...." Keith said as he began walking towards the communications room

 Lance watched Keith slowly walk towards the communications room. Keith didn't seem 'fine' at all. 

"Let's go," Shiro said as he lightly hit Lance's back and guided him towards the communications room. Lance felt weary about it, Keith seemed like a totally different person than yesterday. Like, Keith is normally angry and distant but that's just because of a past that Lance knew he didn't understand fully but today Keith seemed like his heart was torn. As if something important to him had been ripped from his grasp several times. 

"Why is Shiro the only one in his uniform? You all should know by now that you need to be prepared at all times!" Allura's scolding tone could be heard around the ship as she shockingly questioned the team's unpreparedness. 

"Sorry, do you want us to go get geared up??" Hunk asked as he looked at Allura apologetically

"No, I'll just have you all quickly get in them after I tell you about the mission," Allura said, as Allura's voice resonated in Lance's ears he noticed that Keith wasn't really there. Keith stared at the ground, his eyes moving in rapid speed with a gleam of hope. Keith seemed like he had a terrible nightmare last night that made him age. Keith closed his eyes, and to Lance, this peace from Keith was kind of disturbing. It was a calm feeling that his older brothers had once had when they came to a hard decision, Lance remembers when he felt this atmosphere last--when his brother had to drop out of the garrison due to a scandal with him and a girl in his class. Lance snapped back when Hunk nudged him and smiled when they met eyes,

"Lance and Keith, I want you two to focus on the left flank while Pidge, Shiro, and Hunk focus on the right flank."

 _Why do I have to be with him?_ Lance wanted to ask, but he knew by the glistening purple hue in Keith's graceful eyes, that today was not the day to say something like that. 

Lance heard the rest of Allura's plan, and to tell the truth, Lance didn't feel so good about it. He felt that it would all end in a swirl of sorrow......but it was the princesses wish for them to go. 

Lance left the communications room walking back to his room to get his paladin armor on (as did Pidge and Hunk, while Shiro and Keith went to their lions). 

 

"Doesn't Keith seem off to you?" Lance asked once dressed and walking side by side with Hunk as they walked down to their lions. 

"No, he just seemed tired is all. And after yesterday who isn't tired." Hunk commented as they reached the hangers with the lions. 

"Right." 

Voltron was off, and Keith kept making comments about keeping their eyes open and making sure to watch the ship for anything weird.He was acting as if he were the leader of Voltron, which Shiro was the only one with positive feedback. 

 

"Lance," Keith brought up a video call between them and them only, his face looked distressed as he kept looking back at his ticker counting down

"Keith, what's wrong?" 

"Lance, we have to go, now!" Keith said his eyes widening and the gorgeous purple hue that Lance fell in love with appeared distressed and washed away

"Keith we can't just abandon the others, we have to stay!" 

"You have to stay safe!" Keith mumbled to himself "I won't let anything happen to you again...."

"Keith, you're acting crazy right now!" Lance commented concerned. Keith had never told them to go against Allura's orders so obviously before, but Keith looked as if he knew he was going to see something terrible, "We can't go against what Allura told us to do, Keith!"

"Lance, I don't want to lose you!" Keith screamed back "Not again!"

"Keith, what are you talking about?!?!"

"Nevermind that, you wouldn't understand!" Keith retorted "Just listen to me! We have to--"

"No, what we have to do is what Allura said--" As Lance argued he was silenced by a large explosion sound, his heart jumped out of his chest in surprise. As he grabbed his heart to try to calm it down he faced the whiteout of the once star-filled blackened sky. Lance shut up and clenched hard on the steering sticks of the Blue lion. "No.....way...." Lance gasped. "Holy crow....what's happening?" 

"Lan----what---explosion---are you----Keith----Lance?!?!?" Shiro's voice was broken up on the communications system as he tried to get to them, Lance went to look at Keith but the video was gone of Keith's face. So Lance faced back to the blinding White sky. 

The white in front of him became a dance between yellow and reds as if two artists were fighting over a blank canvas and instead of sharing they both warred with the paints. They were fighting to overpower one another in the explosion, not worrying about the casualties. Lance spotted, in the distance, a large shard of the Galra ship. He knew he was going to die. He felt Blue purr in the back of his head that they could move, but if they did then that shard could keep going and end up hitting another planet or even hit one of the other paladins. Lance decided that he could move and then grab the shard as it passed him, but when he gazed at the shard it was too close to dodge. He felt it deep in his heart that this was it. He watched the shard of the Galra ship close in on him, his hands shaking as he tried to move but his body wouldn't do anything. The blue lion and he both knew that this was it.....there was no way to dodge it, there was only one lion fast enough to dodge this shard and she was not the blue lion.

"Is this...where it all ends?" Lance felt a tear escape his eye and roll down his chin

"I'm not letting you die, Lance!" Keith screamed, his voice rough and scratchy as if he were crying right then when he said that. 

"Keith, what are you doing?!" Lance questioned not being able to look away from the shard and seek out the Red lions position. 

"Something I should've done a long time ago...." Lance thought he heard Keith say, but it didn't make any sense. Why would Keith make it seem that Lance had so many near death experiences? It's only been about twice where he's almost died--and that's not even close to Shiro's count (or even Keith's)!

"Keith???" Lance went to look around for the red lion, but the shard in front of his was so mesmerizing that he couldn't look away, the edges were blaring red small flames struggling to stay on the edge of the shard.

Lance felt a violent thrash as if his lion was smashed into with an equally, or greater, weight. The blue lion spin for a short amount of time, making Lance feel slightly dizzy, but a thought came to his head as he then turned the blue lion to look to the culprit "KEITH!" Lance called out trying to fly blue towards the red lion, who was now in the way of the Galra ship shard. "Keith what are you doing??"

Lance could've sworn everything went in slow motion. Tears dropped down his face as Blue flew her fastest towards the red lion. Lance screamed his lungs out as he tried to make sense of what was happening. The shard was too close for him to stop it, he knew that it was too close for him to move.....so Keith removed him.

"NO!" Lance screamed, his voice cracking as he tried his best to reach Keith. 

Their lions facing each other as if the red lion was also saying her good bye to the blue lion. Lance didn't want to let him go!

"Keith! Keith, why?!" Lance screamed again

"Lance," He heard Keith's voice, it sounded as if he were smiling and crying "I love you."

"No, Keith--!!"

"Live a good life, be there for the team. They need you more than a screw-up like me...."

"Keith, you're not a screw-up!" Lance called back "Just hang in there--" Lance lunged further, but the blue lion shockingly stopped herself from going any further. Lance screamed a voiceless scream, he thrusted her controls trying to force her forward but he heard her purr in the back of his head making him realize that the blue lion stopped so both him and Keith wouldn't die. He watched as the shard lodged itself inside the side of the red lion's face, the shard rip apart the whole head of the red lion. Lance convulsed in agony as he watched the red lion's forehead be painted with, what he knew in his heart was, Keith's blood. 

Lance didn't want to think about Keith being dead. He couldn't think about it. 

Lance had never felt this alone.

He had never seen anyone die in front of him before, let alone in such a manner. Lance wanted to jump out of blue and go try to rescue Keith, but he knew that there was no way Keith survived that impact. He knew that there was no possible way that anyone could've survived. Lance moved blue slightly, he had to take his eyes away from Keith, but his eyes were then laid on something way worse. It looked terrible. The Galra ship behind Keith was in pieces, everywhere strewn about was death. Lance felt in his heart that Voltron was dead. That the dream of Voltron taking back the entire universe was now just that.....a dream. Lance shook in fear, he had no idea where the others were, he had no idea if the others were okay......for all he knew he was the only one alive. 

Voltron was now just going to be a story.....a depressing story....Voltron was destroyed....?

 

"Keith?? Keith, do you copy?"

"SHIRO?!" Lance screamed into his head set

"Lance!" Hunk's voice called as well

"Lance, you're okay?" Shiro questioned over Pidge and Hunk's inquiries

"I'm fine! I thought you guys were gone! The whole thing just exploded!" 

"I have no idea why." Shiro said, "How's Keith? He's not answering." 

"The coms went dead after the blast," Pidge commented 

"Keith... is....." Lance's voice went quiet, he didn't want to tell Shiro that Keith was dead, he didn't want to tell Hunk that Keith was gone, he didn't want to confess to Pidge that Keith was..... "Dead..." Lance winced as he said the word that he didn't want to say. There was a silence of disbelief. Like everyone was just taking in the words that they knew Lance would never joke about. 

"Lance.... this better not--"

"You know I'd never joke about this." Lance retorted back to Shiro

"Hold on," Shiro said, more hoping Keith was still alive and that he could hear Shiro's pleas "We are coming right over." 

Lance knew he didn't handle that right, he wished that he could relive this day just so he could help Keith and get him to stay alive. Lance would give anything just to hear Keith's voice again. Lance saw that other three lions soon join him, gasps and sobs were heard along with Lance's own. 

"Allura--" Shiro's voice quivered in depression as he called for Allura

"Yes?" 

"We need an extraction ASAP." 

"We'll be right there," Allura replied

"He..." Lance closed his eyes and refused to look at the red lion "He saved me...." 

"What?" Hunk questioned 

"There was a shard of the ship heading right for blue and I.....Keith pushed us out of the way...."

After that, there were no words between paladins as they waited for Allura and the castle to come and get them. When she did arrive Shiro grabbed the Red lion and helped her to the castle. They all ignored Allura as she questioned why the red lion looked hurt and why Keith wasn't flying her. 

Shiro put the red lion down in the hanger, Lance was the first to get to Red.

"OPEN!" Lance screamed as he tried to open Red's sealed jaw "Red, we are trying to save him!" Red could not respond, her lights were not on, any of them. She was as off the grid as Keith was right now. "Shiro???" Lance whined as he looked to Shiro who just ran over tossing his helmet to the side. 

"Pidge, we are going to open it just enough for you to crawl in, cut the wiring keeping it closed and then we'll get in." 

"Are you sure?" Pidge asked

"Yes!" Lance called panicked 

They did just that when Hunk joined holding the mouth open wasn't that hard, Pidge got in easily and cut a few of the wires that she knew she could fix when they Keith safe and sound. 

Lance ran in past Pidge, "Keith--!" Lance fell to his butt as he braced himself. The shard was all the way in the side of Red's head. It looked like it aimed specifically for Keith.

Keith.

Keith.....who was thrown out of his seat and thrusted upon the parallel wall to the shard. His armor shattered and snapped off of his chest. The shard completely through his body as he was sandwiched between it and the wall. Bile covered Keith's chest and the shard, as he released everything from his body is a panic. Keith's face tilted to the left away from Lance, thankfully. Lance tried his best to not throw up at the sight of all the blood, he covered his mouth with one of his hands. Was there even this much blood in the human body?

Hunk walked in and then ran out, grabbing Pidge not allowing her to see that disgusting scene. You could hear Hunk and Pidge arguing as she begged to see Keith. Shiro, however, fell to his knees in a sobbing fit as he saw Keith. 

Lance dared to crawl towards Keith's body smashed against the wall. Blood pooling in his mouth slowly dripped down, and the last of the tears fell down Keith's face as Lance reached his body. Lance stretched out his hand, which convinced against his own will, as he grabbed Keith's bare, terribly burnt, distorted hand. Lance thought that it was due to the heat of the shard, if Keith fought against it, or tried to catch it....but Lance didn't want to think that Keith was even alive for one iota of a second. That would be too painful. 

"We...." Lance's voice quivered as he held onto Keith's limp hand "We're too late....?" Shiro sobbed at Lance's comment-question. 

"Alright...." Shiro said standing "We have to.... we have to get him to the med bay--"

"You really think that's going to help??" Lance questioned 

"We have to at least try," Hunk said re-entering the lion with Pidge sobbing outside the lion. 

There was no time to mourn.....at least not right now. Shiro and Hunk removed the shrapnel from Keith's body, though they had to cut it up in several pieces in order to take it out of the Red lion as well. They tried not to pass out at the noises that emitted from Keith's corpse, at one pull it sounded as if he were gasping from the pain. It almost sounded as though they were the ones killing him. Once the shard was out of Keith they all felt weak and knew with the hole that was the size of a bowling ball and a half, that there was no way that would heal in the cryopods. Shiro turned away for a second as Hunk bent down and brought Keith's body upward, supporting his treasured friend's limp corpse and lifted it gently off of the floor. Hunk carefully passed Keith to Shiro's shoulder, and it was dubbed Shiro's job to bring Keith out to Allura (Shiro asked for this, he didn't want to follow Hunk out but instead carry his "younger brother" one last time. Shiro walked out with Hunk by his side, Shiro set Keith down on the awaiting medical bed, which would be more like a gurney to a morgue at this point.

“KEITH!!” Allura screamed, her accent making her panicked echo more painful. Pidge tried not to turn around to see, but the nature of human curiosity forced her to regret her decision to turn around and gaze on Keith. Hunk's attempt to make it so that Pidge wouldn't see Keith like this was all in vein as she walked over and saw just how bad it was. Allura couldn't move, her hands convulsing as they covered her mouth; Shiro was stuck in a state of shock, his knees giving out forcing him to kneel to the loss and his heart refusing to allow this to be true. He held onto the medical bed for a brace as he wept. Hunk felt like nothing could fill the void that Keith did, Keith has his own special place on this team, he might've been a little hard to deal with but Keith was finally opening up a little yesterday during the training and days before Keith even laughed a really hearty laugh.....Hunk thought of Keith as a brother in arms....he held him on the same level as Lance by now, but he could never tell him that. Coran wept in a controlled manner so that he wouldn't stop anyone from making any last words, Coran didn't feel like he was worthy to say anything, he knew Keith the least out of all the paladins, but looking at Keith he thought of the old Red paladin (a good friend and potential mate of his if Zarkon didn't attack them), who Keith was a copy and paste of (more or less) and that made Coran even more depressed. _Why is it always the Red paladin?_ He thought to himself. Then there was Lance.....Lance stood the closest to Keith, his sea blue eyes overflowing with the heart-wrenching emotions of knowing that Keith wasn't going to be by his side anymore. Everyone looked at the lifeless body of Keith and knew that he was not going to move again. To someone who didn't know Keith they would think he was rude and distant, but the the Voltron team....they knew how kind hearted he was, how open-minded he was, how he confessed when his ideas weren't the best idea, when he took the blame for his friends so that they could get off scot-free....they knew the _true_ Keith.

"Is there a way to project his memories into the ship?" Lance asked in a final wonder of desperation, not wanting his last memory of Keith to be him yelling at him

"No....the castle can't read an _inactive_ mind...." Coran spoke solemnly through the sniffles and whimpers.

The team could do nothing for Keith now, knowing this broke Lance's heart. Lance moved his shaking hand to Keith's face, he brushed the stray hairs out of Keith's face, also wiping the somewhat dry blood off of his cheek, and tried to force a smile. 

"Thank you....for....for saving me...." Lance squeaked out. Hunk placed his hand on Lance's shoulder and let out a whimper as he had no idea how to comfort his best friend--for he had no idea how to even comfort himself at this point. "I'm.....yeah..." Lance solemnly said as he slowly walked towards the exit, he began to fidget with his hands as he made his way out, just before he left he turned to look back to Keith, "I love you too....." He whimpered as he then went back to his room. 

Lance found himself laying on his bed curled in his covers and tired as can be as he cried out his heart. 

Keith is gone. Keith is dead. And Lance was coming to grips with the idea that the man he had come to love was now not going to be by his side anymore. He shook as he then succumbed to the wonders of sleep. 

When he opened his eyes, he quietly welcomed the next day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this self-indulgent Klance fanfiction! I loved writing it. I will post on Tumblr when I come out with a new book so you can find me there if you wish to read more of my fanfictions, or you can read some of my own books on my new Wattpad account (@andytravisty4) if you want. Thank you all!!


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